Ultimate Dolph

1. I can't believe how much better Steven Seagal is than I am. He is the ultimate true warrior and I don't deserve to be in his presence.

2. Please no, I don't want to fight. I don't want to get hurt, just please take my money and go!

3. Fat Slags is an AWESOME movie!

4. Can I win a fight against Jean-Claude Van Damme? Oh, of course not! The man is a machine, he is the epitome of a true champion and my skills pale in comparison to his. (I still love JC, he's my mate!)

5. I'm so ugly. My hair is horrible. I'm so out of shape. What WOULDN'T I give to get Steven Seagal's workout routine. Damn that guy is FIT!

I want to start making comedies.

One of these days I'd like to co-star with Rob Schneider. The guy's hilarious.

Alright, now in this next scene, you pull off your towel and strangle him with it.

I do solemnly swear that I will faithfully execute the Office of President of the United States, and will to the best of my ability, preserve, protect and defend the Constitution of the United States.

What's my line again, Mr. Devito?

"I don't feel like breaking you today..."
"Masters of The Universe is the greatest movie ever made. PERIOD."
"For my next film I'm collaborating with a German director named Uwe Boll. I think great things will happen, and people will love it."

Never say never.
Actually I don't think he'd mind doing a comedy if he was given a good script.

The_Canadian wrote:"For my next film I'm collaborating with a German director named Uwe Boll. I think great things will happen, and people will love it."

Muahaha

"To hell with my shape! Get me the stack of pancakes, I'll skip workout today."

Man bags are awesome!

Yes I'd love that flourescant pink shirt, does it come with matching sarong?

I want back with Grace!

No thank you Sly, give the part to someone else (sorry JC! )

In my next film I'll be playing Bjorn from Abba.

Muhahahahahahaha!

I'm doing a re-make of The Godfather, and it's gonna be much better than Coppollas pile a crap.

What do I think of Seagal? The guy is great, he's stayed in fantastic shape.

Sylvester who?? Nope, sorry, never heard of the guy.

Nathan wrote:What do I think of Seagal? The guy is great, he's stayed in fantastic shape.

"...and I absolutely agree with everybody that he's got such a lovely personality and is such a humble guy."

Jean Claude is much taller than me. When I stood next to him I felt like a dwarf.

I'm so sad JCVD turned down his offer in The Expendables.