Ultimate Dolph

Jack Caine wrote:Is it me or did they use this production still from Silent Trigger for the cover of Agent Red?

Yep, AND the US cover for THE MINION.

Agent Red is the worst DL movie and Cover Up i found it boring and the romance cheesy and DL did not know how to fight

I actually like The Last Patrol, the 2 things that annoyed me was Candy and Mcbride, they were awful and annoying through out the whole movie.

This movie needed at least a couple really good fights or shoot outs and it would have been more than Satisfactory.

For me Agent Red and The Last Patrol tie for Dolph's worst movie. I actually like Jill the Ripper and The Minion, which others seem not too. I love Cover-Up, it's pretty cool, realistic and suspenseful.

Agent Red is to Last Patrol, what Citizen Kane is to Agent Red.

Agent Red is bad, but Last Patrol is INSANELY TERRIBLE. It doesn´t even feel like a real movie, when you watch it. It´s like a home video or something. I would rather fashion a shank out of my toothbrush and stab myself in the neck, than re-watch that movie.

Agent Red is just "B-movie bad". Cheap and without lot of action in it. Like Sweepers.

Actually i have watched The Last Patrol at least 3 times. But it is is 3rd worst movie in my list.

dolphage wrote:Agent Red is to Last Patrol, what Citizen Kane is to Agent Red.

Agent Red is bad, but Last Patrol is INSANELY TERRIBLE. It doesn´t even feel like a real movie, when you watch it. It´s like a home video or something. I would rather fashion a shank out of my toothbrush and stab myself in the neck, than re-watch that movie.

That's funny I have to disagree and would say the opposite.

Look, Agent Red IS one of DL´s worst movies! One of the worst 5, at least. But Last Patrol... Man, I was SO embarrased throughout that movie. It was like watching "cringe comedy" (like Borat/ALi G or The Office).

I know that Agent Red is generally considered to be DL´s worst (and one of the worst action movies ever made, by some), but I honestly don´t think it´s comparable to Last Patrol.

But I haven´t seen Last Patrol in a couple of years, I´ll rewatch both of them to see if I´m mistaken. I´m man enough to change my opinion and admit when I´m wrong (but just barely).

Last time I tried that was for "Sweepers" a while ago, because you guys tried to argue that it was a lot better than I remembered it. But on that particular ocassion I wasn´t. Sweepers IS a bad, slow B-actioner completly carried by The Big Guy (like Retrograde and Agent Red).

But Sweepers, Agent Red and Retrograde are HARMLESS, Last Patrol is so INSULTING to watch.

dolphage wrote:Last time I tried that was for "Sweepers" a while ago, because you guys tried to argue that it was a lot better than I remembered it. But on that particular ocassion I wasn´t. Sweepers IS a bad, slow B-actioner completly carried by The Big Guy (like Retrograde and Agent Red).
But Sweepers, Agent Red and Retrograde are HARMLESS, Last Patrol is so INSULTING to watch.

My point was that it was better than you were saying, not that it was good... it had moments. At least for me. C'mon, you can't tell me that the barfight and the mine in the gut scenes weren't cool, am I right?

And I actually liked The Last Patrol. It had this weird "indie (action) comedy" vibe to it that somehow kept me interested throughout. My only problems were the raindance scene (serious WTF right there) and the anit-cliamatic conclusion. Would've preferred a more intimate battle between Jesus and Dolph, like hand to hand combat or a knife fight or something.

Plus, Dolph bricking that one guy near the end was pretty priceless.

Agent Red is #2. The Minion, despite featuring Dolph's most bad-ass looking character, is his worst.

I hate to admit it but I'm 100% with dolphage here. Agent Red sucks but it's a masterpiece compared to The Last Patrol. LP isn't even funny if you try to be amused. It's just plain stupid and boring. Agent Red... well, cheapo action but bearable.

Sometimes I think about that ultimate poll where we have all 36 of his available movies and each person has to rate every movie with 0 to 35 points. In the end we would have the ultimate "best to worst" list. But since that is a lot of work for each participant and the judge I don't think it would work. The last posts here show that tastes vary... a LOT! (good thing though)

OK THE LAST PATROL is not great but at least they shot a 90 mins movie in the Israeli desert (not freakin' submarines sets which is always boring unless it's really a good movie). AGENT RED is basically a montage (if one can call that), not only of all the stock shots we know, but about half of the equally lame COUNTER MEASURES (with Michael Dudikoff) like at some point it's like 20 mins lifted as such... The acting is some of the worst I've seen (all the army guys, the Randolph Mantooth who should rather be on Days of Our lives or something etc)(acting is bad in TLP too but not as much IMO) of course the music is not an original score either etc etc etc. So it's all equally dull and boring as the Damian Lee commentary.

I'm rambling here but I could write and essay about the two and how I believe THE LAST PATROL has way more redeeming qualities than AGENT RED.

But remind me again why are we even arguing about two of the worst Dolph movies?!

Jox wrote:But remind me again why are we even arguing about two of the worst Dolph movies?!

To remind us of far he fell and how quickly he rose once more (like a pheonix from the ashes!!!!) so we can better appreciated his newest efforts?

And also it's sometimes just more fun to talk trash about something than our usual "Gosh this is fantastic, I've been blown away, Dolph is my God!" stuff (which is of course our usual feeling but sometimes there's that exception when we are just not as impressed as with the other movies).

The_Canadian wrote:

Jox wrote:But remind me again why are we even arguing about two of the worst Dolph movies?!

To remind us of far he fell and how quickly he rose once more (like a pheonix from the ashes!!!!) so we can better appreciated his newest efforts?

Amen, brother! Preach on!

There have been, about fifteen pretty difficult years for the Dolph-a-maniacs, until DL started directing himself (The Defender) and we´ve had to squeeze the most out of movies like The Peacekeeper and Direct Action in order to keep us going. Not amazing movies, but when put up against Agent Red and Last Patrol... Quite OK.

Now, I am so psyched about the future that it´s insane. I started thinking about DL´s career when I was going to bed a couple of days ago and I got so PUMPED that I had to get up and start walking around the apartment. I couldn´t sleep for a couple of hours. (True story BTW)(I told my co workers the next day and they thought I was crazy)(and I guess it DOES make me crazy...)

AND last but not least... Mosquito FINALLY agreeing with me on something! It feels amazing! It only took two years! Wanna get married? Pleeeeease?

Hey, Dolphage, don't forget about "Hidden Agenda"! Smart script, good action, great direction... for me, that was the one the started Dolph rise to greatness.

dolphage wrote:Now, I am so psyched about the future that it´s insane. I started thinking about DL´s career when I was going to bed a couple of days ago and I got so PUMPED that I had to get up and start walking around the apartment. I couldn´t sleep for a couple of hours. (True story BTW)(I told my co workers the next day and they thought I was crazy)(and I guess it DOES make me crazy...)

AND last but not least... Mosquito FINALLY agreeing with me on something! It feels amazing! It only took two years! Wanna get married? Pleeeeease?

I'm hesitant. I like your voice though! But... that photo kinda scares me. Plus, you want to give Dolph a Mohawk/beard combo, both of them not tolerable. Nah, gotta pass, sorry.